The Little Palm of Support

Priya Sakhi 

After a long time ... missed you .. but you were never away were you? 

Koothanadi Pottri , the Shivaratri festival conducted by Abhai happened this weekend, on Saturday. 

What was special this year was that it was a prayer - a prayer for the victims of  the corona virus  , the pandemic that is threatening the world now . It was also a prayer for peace in India. 

The festival was organised in Virugambakkam, in association with Akshaya Arts . 

In that we targeted a different audience base - in a proscenium stage . The dancers and gurus who were presenting their students that day were from that part of town, mostly. There was a freshness in the festival, a cozy stage, eager audiences and totally focussed Artistes. 

You may think that this is a review of the programmes that were offered that day .. Nope

Had to share a few thoughts .. first of all one was amazed at the number of aspiring
dancers ! So many of them all passionate - very focussed, costumes, make up , jewellery   .reds, greens, purples , pinks with flowers and jewellery -- simply
bewildering!

There was this group of dancers - students of Smt . Lata Rajagopalan - they were mostly what we call the '. Nandu chindu vaandus ' who were very sprightly and danced with great involvement. For some the core was absolutely tight , very young children but the way they held themselves-  with so  much confidence and poise. 

There was this moment where the children were required to hold their legs in a pose for at least a good minute or two - the outer leg lifted, was bent , two little dancers were facing each other . Whilst one of the little girls stood still-- as still as a statue,

the other girl started to shake towards the end of the line . 

What did the little girl 1 do ? Didn't think twice - just placed her
palm  on  her friends - giving her the support and confidence ! It was an instinctive gesture of a little girl but ...

It was one of the best moments of the evening
 - everybody in the audience noticed this and clapped spontaneously! 

That little palm extended willingly for a friend -a small gesture  but the support and camaraderie so much needed . 

it's always how one dancer excels the other? Friendships of many decades are broken over performance opportunities!  One sees so much of competition out there .. is there anybody who understands the angst of an artiste ? Within the fraternity? Is there anybody to support us ? 

We , in our myriad roles as a woman, a daughter, disciple, teacher , performer, choreographer, cook, maid , home maker, mother and grandmothers even -- what all do we sacrifice!

To get to that practise early in the morning how much do we have to do before that - to rush into practise - to remember that sanchari idea or the kanakku thattu mettu ? 

So much goes into the making of an artiste  - lots of heartaches and brickbats as well as bouquets and encouragement
-- but it's heartening to see that little palm that supports us - isn't it ? 

Sent from my iPad

Women's Days

Priya Sakhi, 

My dearest friend. It has been a long time since I connected with you. It's not because of lethargy , no writter's block either... . But I realised that I express my innermost thoughts with you. Did I want to address all the chaos that was going inside and outside of me to you? Be  Negativee? Nope ! I wanted

 to talk to you when I had something positive and happy to say. 

Here we are, celebrating today as the International Women's Day. Celebrating ? 

But what is the basis  of this celebration? Giving away a few awards, freebies, music and dance... All this is okay but ....There is something missing. 

That horrific film (Horrific because of what is being said in it) on Nirbhaya, stories of rape, discrimination  against women.... appalling!

I hate to whine, I would much rather find out the root of the problem . Then we can get to a solution. 

It is like us Bharatanatyam artistes complaining that there are no audiences. Is it not better to widen the audience? be proactive?

Coming back to women-- what is our problem? Are we being viewed as objects of sex alone? Can men dictate to us how long we stay out at night? Where we go? How can the lawyer express such archaic views in the movie? We are homosapiens living in this galaxy, making great strides in scientific advancements.  We are equal to men. We look great,  we are intelligent, we are accomplished-- hey Sakhi, that makes us more than equal to men? 

No, no, Sakhi, I am not a feminist. But I believe that we, that is men and women, cannot function without one another. 

So what we need is to respect each other. Give each other their respective spaces. Have equal standards. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. We have a right to walk alone. We have a right to walk with our significant other. We have right to voice our opinions.  

Does that make me a feminist? If it does, so jbe it. 

Give the respect. That is the basis of our tradition. That is the basis of modernism. Respect tradition. Respect the modern. 

Then let us see if we need one day as women's day and all that appears on facebook,whatsapp,blah.

But sakhi,,. Everyday is our day.. So Happy Women's Days Priyasakhi.. Sakhi Prana. 

Proud Peacock!

Priya Sakhi

Happy Independence day Dear Friend!

Today I think of the Mahatma who said `I’m a lover of my own liberty, and so I would do nothing to restrict yours."

Today as we celebrate our 68th year of Independence-- have we lived up to the Mahatma's vision of Free India? 

For that matter how much of the vision of all our great leaders, seers, pioneers, scientists, artistes are we fulfilling? 

Is this vision needed? I am free! I am responsible! And that is enough?
The above question is not a rhetoric one.

Now as a dancer what does this  freedom mean? 
I am ever proud to be an Indian and even `prouder' to be an Indian classical dancer.
Hey then you can call me a Proud Peacock-- as I am a dancer, and Indian and hence the peacock? and very proud to be so? Clever aint I?
Priya Sakhi , no, no do not throw that cushion on me-- I promise no mokkai-s.

But am I independent as a dancer? Not really. There is that interdependence on music, musicians, mentors, patrons -- the list is endless.

 Being a dancer (of the travails I need not mention) is getting more difficult! No, this is not `I do not even have one solo' whine, sakhi!

The life of a dancer is unique!
As a profession it is one that is best pursued with a passion. The returns from it is intangible,  inexplicable and hence misunderstood.
A passion that is often not understood as it cannot be structured in a tight corporate  financial module.

Very often I have observed that when a corporate woman travels, she is busy looking at figures, meetings and conferences, it is appreciated.
But many times people look at me strangely when I as a Bharatanataym dancer go for a meeting! You work in an office?, they ask!
No thankfully not!

But do we have a structure? We all work hard, many of us start the day at 6.00, classes, rehearsals, recording sessions, meetings(!!), programmes, research libraries.... 

And then when we get engaged  to be married,  that unspoken fear  follows-- what happens to my dance? can I pursue my passion?!!

But Sakhi as you know, I always thank god for that one statement that my then`prospective partner' and my `now husband' made-- why are you asking me permission to dance when it is a part of your life, even before you met me?'
Sakhi, now friend do not go supporting him....you are on my side remember?
Just kidding!

But having said that, what a struggle it is for most dancers who work as hard as any other from the corporate world!
Is there any policy for the arts that does not involve any confusion?( the present circular from the Ministry of Culture, being a classic example).
There are efforts to clarify, amend rules... but everything is a struggle.

Personal freedom, personal glory, personal opportunities vis-a-vis the fraternity and its concerns at large.
Criticisms, praise, conflicts, understanding, positive, negative.....

But ! when we dance that bubble envelopes us--- it is only music, it is only me , my emotion, then even `I' disappears--- it is Krishna, it is Devaki,  Radha, it is Sita--- Everything else ceases to be! A wonderful ideal state...
I have the freedom, freedom of delving within myself, to be free.
 Sakhi!
I am proud to be a peacock-- an Indian dancer!

Broken thoughts

Priya Sakhi! My friend, Mon Amie....

I have been wanting to do this for a long time. To tell you anything that comes to my mind! Not in a very organised way but just random  thoughts, emotions, in no pattern. Why should there be a pattern, a coherent one? Incoherence is a crime? As in a poetry or piece of modern art with its wonderful splash of colours...

Is not life like that-- myriad of motions, thoughts, of cacophony and of silence, of extremes....
 So Sakhi-- I am going to share whatever comes to my mind-- who else  but you will put up with this?

Priya Sakhi...

It is raining heavily here in Chennai! Respite from the punishing heat that we have bee subjected to by Surya bhagvan.
Rain, the drops that fall, first tentative and then it increases in speed-- ever tried putting tala to rain? There is no pattern but why should there be?

There is Rhythm in everything-- from the heart beat, rhythm in the changing season, rhythm in silence even!

In natya that silence after a `climax' is what adds to a presentation.

Silence conveys a million emotions... Remember this song?

People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb .....
The sound of silence.

Sakhi you might ask me why am I in this mood?

Rain does this to me-- Rain is good but for me it brings me memories-- painful and happy. Of birth and death
Water droplets , when they fall on you, on your eyes, your cheek.... love  them and then the speed and intensity increases.. we take cover. Mazhai-- `Dhikkul yettum sidhari sidhari dheem tharikita, dheem tahrikita, dheem tharikita...'

Very much like life! it starts of being wonderful and then.....
we love the rhythm, the sounds, the beats, the uniform beats, the off-beat ones, the variant one and then  finally enjoy the silence that ensues.

 The unspoken word, the emotion that is there right there controlled but waiting to come out-- that is more interesting! 
  Life starts that way.... with the heart beat inside the womb, struggle starts right from coming out  of the womb-- push push, we come pushing out with a rhythm of breathing... the pace of life slowly increases...crawling, unsteady walking with a tisra nadai?, then a beat is added, then running, running to realise our ambitions, away from that emotion, running a race, then a `rat race'....
 We fall, fall ill-- there is a pause....
we reflect, we ponder, we wonder...
then we pick up our pace again...

Run, Run, Run from first speed to tenth speed! silence? what is that?

Life is like that only Priya Sakhi-- shoo ! Quietly let us face this frenzy life....

Sakhi? Are you listening?

`WITHOUT MUSIC LIFE WILL BE A MISTAKE'--NIETZCHE

Music, Sangeetham, Sur.... Priya Sakhi...

What is this life without music?

When I am  down it revives me, when I am excited it calms me... 

Not one kind of music. From Classical to Folk-- Western, Indian, Spanish , Reggae....

 Dear Sakhi, as a youngster I would think to myself how lovely it would be if the background score in movies was present in real life too. Imagine then when you are watching the moon rise, you hear  some romantic music..when you see shades of green as you travel-- the violins play along...

(Well it does nowadays , what with I-pods,  phones, earphones and downloading  your favourite music-- that too for   free!)

When someone asks me what my favourite colour is... I am stumped!Love green, red, orange, blue, black, white...almost everything.

Favourite food-- stumped! Love Bhel, North Indian, South Indian, Mexican, Italian, French-- I am hungry! 

Who is your best friend?- stumped-- and that is another story! But you my Sakhi is closest to my heart.

I can write about each one of them for pages! 

But this is about Music. Favourite Music?

Growing up with Music-- both Western and Indian- all parties at home I remember were parties with music!

Guitars strumming, The beat of drums in a bucket or table, food and ....Do I miss those days. `Every shalala....its yesterday once more!'

I remember me going berserk with the Chariots of Fire theme music. Mahesh and Srikanth (my brothers) and my cousins exposed me to Beatles, Pink Flyod, Jean Luc Ponty, Shakthi, Earl Klugh, Jethro Tull... an endless list. 

(Oh I have to tell you that the One Annual day that they attended in my school, I was dancing for `Come September'!  They had to see me do a t`a tei tei ta' and of course `tei ha tei hi' for it ! Never heard the last of it!).  

We listened to Hindi Film songs, Ghazals, Hindustani, Tamil Film songs,  Beautiful Carnatic music of my Athai (Seethalkashmi Venkatesan) and other greats. We knew Semmangudi mama, lived in the same road as Chembai...I learnt music from Madurai N. Krishnan. 

Then, attended endless kutcheri-s with my  dear gang of friends during the season. Made our own lists of artistes  and venues, years before the music reckoners came during the `December Season'.

It was music that brought us together.

Without music where would I be as a dancer? If my Smarathinamam made an impact-- it is because of Valson's genius version of it! His Saagara sayana Vibho.... Jayashri's Jo Jo Jo-- sung so softly... she actually makes Rama sleep in front of our eyes! Just her soft music!  

The sweet voice of Padmavalli teacher, Nandini, G. Srikanth.. that phrase of Sruti Sagar on the flute--- the ragamalika of Vijayaraghavan sir... Oh!the list is long, the genres varied. 

So I am totally baffled when a dancer tells me that she does not know Music! Not learnt! Does not listen!

Ah?  Really? Yup! Who is this? Keep Guessing! 

Now, Now Sakhi---  when are you going to sing to me? 

Till then .... I have to tell you this.. Praana...

                                           Sakhi Praana....

“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.” 
― Bob Marley

 

 

MAYA --- you colour my thoughts!

 Priya Sakhi...

It has been a long time dear friend....

In these days--  of over a month and a half-- I have met many wonderful people,  taught, learnt from these experiences, performed, toured the US-- a myriad of experiences, of thoughts and emotions!

But is this about our workshop- performance trip of the US? NO

But  the trip has put me in  reflective mode... from the people I observed in our Layovers at different airports to the different kinds of students that we (Roja and I) met..to our wonderful Hosts....

Hey as I said this is not about our trip!

It is about being a dancer, a teacher, choreographer... the cliched labels that I so pompously give myself!

As you know, ever so often, I question my reason to be a dancer... what is the efficacy about being one. The Self, the dancer Self in me is always subjected to a lot of tests.

Having my  training from one of the best guru-s, my conviction about my style (bani), my learning is a 100 percent.
As students of Natya, we are constantly being evaluated..

From the micro level of the teaching process to the various tests that we face-- say-- The Junior Scholarship, Senior Scholarship from the Centre, the Iyal Isai Nataka Mandram `4' programmes from our State, Grading at Doordarshan, Empanelment at ICCR... the list goes on...

My Senior scholarship interview was the scariest--- entered a room at Kalakshetra (where the interview was held) to actually see Guru Kittappa Pillai, Padhukka, Shantha Akka, Chitra Akka  in the panel of judges!
But it was a challenge. You think I could breathe straight? But when I got that Scholarship it was something I treasured/treasure even now.

Of course we  are constantly being evaluated by the Press. When I was younger I remember that a good review from NMN of the Hindu meant something. To be written about by Sri. Subbudu... K.S. Mahadevan... well it was the Ultimate! The feeling on a Friday morning, after a programme-- to be written about by Leelaji, Nandini Akka,  Sunil ji, Chitra, Rupa, Vidya and of course Veejay Sai (Ayyo) -- then we have portals now-- the views of Vincent, Anita.... Then, we have to face the comments couched in vindictiveness and anonymity in other blogs and portals-- criticisms, comments and stray praises for your art, your appearance.

Phew! Is it not a wonder we are even sane or are we?

But Sakhi I have always wondered how does one evaluate Art absolutely? Is Art Absolute or Relative? For that matter the concept of Time being a very relative concept hits you when you travel abroad. Well, as a student of Indian Philosophy and as an ardent admirer of Sankara, I do know that there is only ONE! But `Maya ' still colours me!

 Oh yes that is why I react to this news of being evaluated  by `One Body' for performances abroad for  a government-sponsored tour abroad. I think it would be exciting and fair if there is a panel of Senior guru-s-- a panel for each of the varied classical styles. A panel of artistes, officials. That would be unbiased and acceptable.

Sakhi ! I know you want to ask me whether I have  been invited by the government to perform? Whether I have shifted my base to New Delhi? Whether my opinions matter?

Let me just say I am a positive person living in my delusional world!

I wonder...

Priya Sakhi

There is so much happening in our country.
I often wonder what is to happen.
Are we Secular?
Is this good? or That?

Results. Results...

People commenting about the mandate. About Shri. Modi, about the sweeping success of Ms. Jayalalitha. Great results! 

I wonder what is to come?

Results--- 10th grade results. CBSE , STATE BOARD... 12th Results. Then results of  entrance exams of professional courses..phew!
 I often wonder how we end up ... in a space quite unintentional?

In that we have some days of heat-- surprise summer showers... and even an earthquake!
I often wonder if that is Nature's gentle reminder to calm down??

But then nothing stops anyone. We get up, brush our teeth, have our morning cuppa, read the papers...run here... rush there...everyone is in a tizzy.
I wonder if we ever stop to listen?

From above HE watches.. muses.. laughs?
 I often wonder what HE thinks about our galaxy.. the life...the madness...
Do we watch, observe, think??

Sometimes this wonder is rasa of adhbutha sometimes it is more of a question,  a reflection...


I often wonder what I am looking for.....