Saturday, 10 May 2014

Mother Sweet Mother of Mine





Priya Sakhi...

It is Mother's day-- weekend. Do you celebrate Mother's Day? , my dear Spanish friends asked me-- I thought for a moment and said ,'yes, we do, now'. I am so thankful that God made me a Mother. But this is not about me. It is about her.... Yup My amma, ma mere, mathe...



In my life my Mother has played a pivotal role.

Being the youngest in a family of three, the only girl, I was my Father's pet.  My brothers always teased me silly.  My mother smiled indulgently then. Amma was strict but then dad was putty in my hands!
Amma was always poised and both my dad and mom gave us three the best, encouraged us in our passion and talents in our respective fields.

Our house was a veritable `fun' house. My brother's friends and  band mates were in and out of our house, teasing me and spoiling Mahesh's little sister. Life was beautiful and fun, filled with music and poetry and dance, of course! And my mom silently cooked away the meals, talked with all the guys who were there but still quietly she went on with her chores, cooking, driving us, yup she can  still drive (and I cannot differentiate between a brake and an accelerator) .

Then my father passed on at a crucial time in my life-- in my 9th grade. We were devastated! My whole world came tumbling down-- but there she was-- My Amma--- silently bearing the pain of losing her loved one so early. I faltered, she helped me silently, saw to it I bounced back into my life of academics and dance--  she could solve my mathematical problems and emotional ones too.

She is very intelligent! She could sew, make my pretty jadai-s for dance, stitch costumes. She can change bulbs, attend to small repairs of appliances.  She speaks good English,  Tamil,  Hindi and Malayalam and hey even a smattering of French! She reads and is up to date with current affairs!
Wow Amma is there something that you cannot do?

Everybody, my friends, her siblings and kith and kin marvel at her. She is strong! She is feminine!
She is crazy about dance-- learnt from the venerated  Guru Govindaraja Pillai in Bombay, learnt Kathak and practised everyday too! If I am in this field of Natyam it is because of her.

She is one of those Moms whose support is complete but she is not an aggressive mom.
She is always well dressed. She still matches her purse with her sari-s.
She waits for  my dance  programmes. She notices everything-- from jewellery to that new padam I try.
She prays for all of us. I burden her with my troubles. I feel when she prays my trouble seems far away.
She prays for my friends too.

She is the epitome of positivity!
Lost her first born to cancer. Her grief is indescribable, I know. But she does not wallow in self- pity. She says that  she is so blessed to have had someone as special as Mahesh in her womb. In his passing away, he has given life to so many children battling with the dreaded disease-- she says, as she chokes with tear filled eyes. And then she quickly wipes her tears and flashes that lovely smile.

She is there for her grandchildren. She cares for them, for  Bhargav she was his first guru, from  teaching him to navigate the  steps of the split-level dining room to teaching him Tamil and Mathematics-- Boy !he is his Swarnamma's boy. (But with her grandchildren she is very indulgent and less strict) .

A special bond she shares with them. Manu, Bhavu and Bhargu are her darlings!

She is a little girl who particularly loves Mango Ice cream but never succumbs to gluttony!

Yeah she is all there-- she is hip-- she is on Facebook, writing comments without any typos or grammatical errors. She solves Sudoku!

She is an inspiration to many of us. She is an unsung Heroine of our Family.

She is the ubiquitous Swarnamma!

She is --MY AMMA.









Friday, 9 May 2014


Sunny Experiences and Realization too

Priya Sakhi

I have been quiet for a while with you. But that is because I have been busy having a `cool' time this Sunner, oops Summer.

It all started with the Vishwa Natya Dhinam-- World Dance Day. ABHAI,  in association with AAT and Citi Centre Mall in Chennai, organised a flash mob.  Watch this dear friend...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9os3P6GNak&feature=youtu.beh

Ah! did you see how the positive energy of the 70 dancers? How  the young and  the old, the senior and  the senior-most blended with the littlest?!

While we came together as a fraternity, on an important day, ear- marked for dance-- the experience taught us many things-- the reach of the form itself, organising skills of the President ( Chitra Visveswaran) and the commitee..so many things.

  When we at the committee were thinking of doing a flash mob at the temple, it was young Mansvini who suggested the Mall. It was appropriate, because, for Bharatanatyam, while there are many dancers who are passionate and pursue the art-form, it needs audiences. The common man at the Mall  definitely  paused for those 10 minutes to see the joy of the dancers, the greatness of the form.

Natyam is divine and sacred (cliches?), but on that day it sent a  strong message to the uninitiated, that  the classical dancers can come together--that we are beyond barriers of caste, creed and politics. We think beyond ourselves-- we can definitely  make a statement. Of course this time we came together for the  cause of  dance. But in the past, we have celebrated the 1000th year of The Big Temple at Thanjavaur. A few of us have come together for fund raiser programmes for Gujarat floods, participate in outreach programmes... the list is endless.

So this was on April 29th. The euphoria of this experience (thanks to Sharada Ramanathan,   the filmmaker, director, art lover...who first gave this idea), was with us for at least a week....

And then Sakhi--- it was time for the Abhivriddhishala-s (ABVS) of ABHAI.... from 30th April to 7th May, the members have had a treat interacting with artistes of the calibre of Ananda Shankar, Padma Subrahmanyam, Anita Ratnam, Anirudha and Vyjayanthimala Bali  ....

Interacting with these great artistes has made me re-look at my own perceptions of natyam--- what dedication, creativity, clear thinking, wisdom and above all artistry. More on this later...

Sakhi-- a wonderful potpourri of  thoughts and experiences are  happily jumbled in my thoughts.....

The  amazing range of emotions, the spontaneity and subtleties  of Padhukka's `Dharijuchu chunnadi.....priya... nee poi-- kaalaithooki

1,1-2,1-2-3..How much wood can a woodchuck chuck...`so' and the shalangai mangalam of Anirudha's-- which is, jingle bells jingle bells...

Anita's comment of the manduka mudra flashes in my mind every time I text on the phone--

The younger children wanted to go with Ananda hanging on to her sari pallu, all the way to Hyderabad. What an impact she has had on them!

Then of course the lilting Tillana of Anandabhairavi tillana in Khandam that Vyjayanthimala  taught us.
I am  awe- struck-- what an artiste! She is a true testimony to the fact that you are only as old as you feel. She feels like a teenager-- and dances with  an enthusiasm  and flexibility that matches little Sruthi Ram Mohan !


I have so much to tell you Sakhi-- a fragrant bouquet of experiences-- of flowers that will stay with me even when they dry, the fragrance fresh.

I realized one thing-- Oh no-- I need to be born again-- that too as a dancer--yes ---a Bharatanataym dancer-- for what I know now is only a drop of that vast ocean of this art-form!







Monday, 28 April 2014

Vishwa Natya Dhinam



Priya Sakhi,

Today is International Dance Day-- Happy Dancing! Am I proud to belong to this special fraternity.

A dancer's life is not easy. Passion drives us. For many an artiste it consumes their entire being.

Recently a good friend said that  dancers are very  `self absorbed'--  Are we?
Well , Who is not? From the politician to that person who sweeps the road, even the millions of non-profit organisations that mushroom, the social activist--  for everybody, there is that sense of  `self' . The degrees, the intensity varies....

 Coming to think of it Sakhi! Priya Sakhi, a dancer is many things rolled into one-- her interests cannot just stop with dance/natya-- music, sculpture, theoretical knowledge, culture, religion, stage craft, costume, colours, aesthetics.... then  writing, speaking, being on par with technological advancements, public relations, understanding media, psychology--- as we need to gauge the pulse of the audience, man management, student psychology, physiology, new exercise routines, kalari payyittu, yoga, pranayama... I am sure there are many more. Then if it is a girl/woman, throw in the joys and anxieties of  being a  daughter, sister, niece, sister-in-law, cousin,wife, mother,mother-in-law....( And the male dancers have their roles and of course the transgenders have their roles too).

And then if one is working in an office and pursuing dance-- phew! we need to look at so many things! So it is both a micro and macro existence. So Bharata's 10 requisites of a dancer is basic ( I refer to the verse athi sthulaapi.... dashaitha natya varjitha).


Amazing Sakhi! And we are self-absorbed?!! Let us be so.

As you know I love dance, natya-- the Indian classical styles to folk theatre-- love it that I learnt Therukoothu, poi-k-kaal kudhire, karagam-- loved the Bhutto dance workshop, loved my hip-hop routines, zumba, kuthu... But I absolutely love Bharatanatyam.  In it,  I love the traditional margam, the adavu-s packed style, the subtle abhinaya, the thematic forays of our Parashah group. The neo- natyam experiments that I sometimes get to perform and watch.

For me dance is vibrant. Many of us are constantly re-discovering ourselves. Many of us are socially conscious. Many belong to this world.  We have to know  Indian Philosphy , Western Philosophies.  World  Cultures Religions, Mythologies..... We are within and without.

 A dancer is an artiste and definitely should make that difference to society. Art in Science, Art in education, Art as therapy... in all  those fields, dance is integral. Dance is inspired from life, Dance IS Life.....
 So let it be about the `self'-- ourselves.

Let us Celebrate Dance, Natya, the Dancers...
`Tha tha dhim tha dhim....'

Tuesday, 15 April 2014


LIVE and (A)LIVE


Priya Sakhi....


Hi Sakhi... I am alive...
It has been a while since I shared my thoughts with you..
Is it because I am in a state of limbo? Too many people passing away... troubles.. worries.... heat!

Makes me pause and think ... about life, about my natyam.. purpose of continuing in a field that has become highly competitive.  But which profession in not? There is competition, aggression and politics in any field.. in any relationship.

I need to snap out of this wave of self-pity... cliche, but there are many who are worse off... count my blessings---count them one by one.... my mind wanders to school, the carol singing.... the sero gang (one day, Priya Sakhi, I will tell you about this wonderful gang).

Then I come across some old photographs..   serendipity... my kindergarten photographs... photographs of my teenage--- I was slimmer then, younger then ...things that were locked in the inner recess of my mind, memories just come gushing out like a waterfall . Some bring a tear to my eye.. some photographs make me laugh.

The sounds of incessant laughter, the bus rides with my friend Subha... the innocence... the way our gang used to wait for the Natya-Sangeetha December season... the way we used to prepare the schedules of different sabha-s and the kutcheri-s. There were no ready programme reckoners then.

My niece Manasi just posted on facebook saying that `life was simpler then'. True.

There was no internet, no mobiles, no facebook, no blogs even...
But friendships were deeper, family ties were stronger, life was...

But wait... I am not against technology... love and enjoy every thing it offers us. But are we in control of our lives?  Mobile phones... computers.. tabs.. I-pads.. tablet... are they the means of communication or are they the end?
How many saw the orange moon yesterday? How many of us listen to the parrots, the sound of the crows? Do we see butterflies? No not on the net, dear Sakhi,   but live.
Live and live--- one sense it means `to be alive' and in the other it means ` in the current.'.. but ...

How alive are we now? Is it about this moment? life now? or what was...  or what will be...
 Too many questions for me...

I  happily hum..
" Smaradhinumam.... Balya sahayam....."

Sunday, 30 March 2014


LAST WEEK....


Priya Sakhi

It has been a while since I addressed you. The past week has been crazy-- the best part of it being spent at Anusha's wedding celebrations.

Anusha is Sudha Aunty's student-- she came when she was little. She was the cutest little chubby girl, who has now blossomed into a tall, slim pretty young woman. The striking feature of Anusha is her wonderful heart... She is passionate about dance, music. Here was a bride who took time to talk to everybody, make them comfortable....
Here is wishing Anusha and Varun a wonderful life.

Talking of Anusha is how she shed extra kilograms with great determination and focus. Hats off.

Of course I have to talk of weighty issues-- and natya.

I have found many say emphatically that a dancer `HAS' to be slim. `She has no business to be on stage'.
(So what if she is immensly talented). People snigger at artistes who are on the heavier side. Laugh behind their backs. Only slim dancers have star statuses. They can prance on stage, combine lithe martial movements, strike passionate poses at the most sombre moment.  Use stage craft like  dull lighting at an intense Abhinaya moment. Touche. 

 To them, what are adavu-s ? Tat tei ta ha? tei ha tei hi? 
 (Ah !Priya Sakhi I must tell you about the Kuditha Mettu Adavu-- it is most abused in and outside the world of Bharatanatyam. Have you seen them in Bollywood numbers? There is that lift of the shoulders, whether the heel lifts or not)!

Then we talk of the soul of a dancer that is absent now. Of the varying preferences in the spectators. Poet Kalidasa says, `Loke binna ruchihi'-- there are people who have different tastes. So that is why I wonder how does one  review a work of art? Personal preferences will definitely creep in?   How does the critic review the art-- what appeals to him/her or is there a common benchmark?

 Sakhi, so it was interesting to read about two reviews of two choreographic pieces in The Hindu, last Friday.  One work I did not relate to.  The other I thought was brilliant. But while the former got a rave review,  for the latter, the credit  that the work deserved was glaring in it's absence. 

I am an outspoken person. But bear with my mystery Sakhi. One day, I will have the guts to come out and say the names openly. Till then let me be a coward, with spurts of `hot air' moments.

The first impression that a dancer makes , the entry, is very important.  That is what Sudha Aunty told us.That is when physical attributes, costume, make up  matter. But after that the art takes over. 

 But then different things work for different people. For me a wonderful margam works well. A good thematic presentation  interests me. A visit into past absorbs me for I feel history is very important . But at the same time, I love experimentations, the honest ones.  
Love a jathi with all the sharkal-s, tat tei taha and kudhitha mettu-s without shoulder lifts.
Love the `thol thalli' momnets in jati-s. Love that `usi' in a small intricate jati. Love the saachi glance in the padam. Love the rhythmic tillana and the quiet slokam, that puts me in a reflective mood. I do see the physical attributes of a dancer/s for a short while, yeah she is wearing a lovely necklace... the `zebra lines' in the costume irritates me... but very often it is the work itself that excites me. Music, the singing, the musicality of the dancer is what I look for. 
But hey who am I?  Am I the not so slim dancer trying to shed her extra pounds. I am the outspoken one, they  say.  But, hey, do my opinions matter?

Yes! to Me and You,  in MY space. Sakhi Praana....




Tuesday, 25 March 2014


Sunner, Freezer, Fall and Flowery


Priya Sakhi,

It has been quite a week-- lots of things whirling in my head! Then I read this post on Facebook of little Kavya, who lives in Houston and who sent this letter to  President Obama to change the word `Summer' to `Sunner' as summer IS all about the Sun!

In this there is so much to learn. First, of little Kavya's brain which is so active for a 4 year old! It is logical and creative--` Sunner' does seem more picturesque! Sunner, Freezer, Fall (it is picturesque), Flowery?? That is towards `more picturesque speech'? ( I allude to that coloumn in Readers Digest).
So what happens when the President of United States  gets this letter? He replies to the little one with little gifts and a wonderful letter.

So is this about Kavya? Yes, It is inspired by her...

First of all, I wondered what will happen  if the same thought and action was done by a little one here!  The letter would have been tossed aside? or would they have been a reply?
The question is genuine here. Do I have hope in the `netas'? Would they have taken time to answer the query of a little one? Given her a minute to answer or commend her thought process?

The political scenario, here, is charged with the election fervour. Most of the time we have to wait in a long queue for some campaigner to pass us by, for he is seeking our votes... Loud microphones, autorickshaws, `katshi kodis', flyers, are all passed on.
There was one incident that left me quite baffled. So one `Katshi Thondar' was handing out these flyers to all of us in autos and in cars. This auto driver in front of us dropped the flyer down on the road (whether by mistake is a debatable question)!  What ensued.... fisticuffs, colourful language.... as the Thalaivar's photo was on the flyer. It was a sign of disrespect.
This is democracy?  Freedom? What if the flyer really slipped as the driver claimed?!
 Do we HAVE to take the flyers? (Not a green campaign at all).
What is personal freedom? Societal one?
We live life in our terms or others' expectations of us.
 Was just asked by a student a very relevant one about personal choice vis-a-vis conforming to societies expectations...

Sakhi ... makes me think a lot.

Meanwhile is little Kavya happy with the letter from her President? Nope... She is miffed still ,for Summer ain't `Sunner' yet!
Sakhiye....

Thursday, 20 March 2014

Day of Love, Spring, of Hope, of Gratitude...


Priya Sakhi,

It was in 1986, at the Sovietskaya Hotel in Moscow. I was sleeping in my room when I got this call, `Priya darling, look out through the window, look at the snowflakes falling, it is SNOWING!', she said.

I jumped and shouted out... the excitement was because it was my maiden view of those light snowflakes falling! I had finally seen SNOW!!
 The experience was  special, because Sudha Aunty pointed that out to me. She knew I was waiting for snow for almost a week.  We were leaving  Moscow the next day and I was desperate to see snow, to see the flakes falling from up above! Moscow was freezing  but snow, till then, had eluded me!

It was another day in the early eighties when Sudha Aunty called for me from class and said I would have to do the announcing for a function. That day my voice training started. Keep it low but clear. It is Photo graphy, Choreo graphy... Now people tell me I speak well on the microphone! Commend me about what and how I speak.

Earlier Sakhi, I was  distraught! My dearest Appa was snatched away from me! I was barely in my 10th.... `Priya we are here for you', they said.  They cried with me, they made me laugh, they gave me words of wisdom... Sudha Aunty and Vaadhyar ( Madurai N. Krishnan).

For Aunty, education was very important. Her students  had to do well in school and college. While I did my M Phil, many of our students were studying to be doctors, chartered accountants, masters in natya, engineering,  special education....

She  had an enviable collection of books.   Our interest in academia  was kindled there.
We had a master to tell us stories from Mythology. A Sanskrit master to teach us theory and sloka-s.
A Music Master, Peria Anna (Sri. Srinivasan), to teach us music.
We went to Kalanidhi mami's classes at Asthika Samaja at Sudha Aunty's behest.
We had Master classes of other guru-s at Bharatalaya.
We had appreciation classes. We learnt about the fugue in western music We knew about the Graham technique, the Lemone technique...

It was another day in the early 90's,  when Aunty called me and asked me to sit as a 3rd person on stage to wield the talam for performances. I would not open my mouth but very often keep time, beating the universal  beat on my talam. Was criticised like hell! But Sudha Aunty stood firm! Then when Padmavalli teacher went away, I sat on stage and started quite confidently doing the nattuvangam.

It was in January 1994, they were waiting for me for a rehearsal. Priya is on time, she wondered.  She called me to find out if all is well... I said I am engaged-- she immediately sent` Bhai' with the car. The excitement was more as my fiance's (then) family was close to Sudha Aunty. So is it my daughter's or son's wedding she wondered?! She planned a romantic, candle night dinner with my husband.

SHE is a GURU. SHE is my friend. SHE is my philosopher. SHE is my mentor...  SHE is the one who shares her Art selflessly....

You think Aunty was like this with me alone? Everybody in Bharatalaya will have stories to tell... I have so many  more anecdotes to share and the others will have too. She makes time for each one of us.

Why am I sharing this with you today Priya Sakhi?
Today is the first day of Spring.
A day of Love. Of Hope.
Today is March 21st.
Today is Sudha Aunty's Birthday....

Happy Birthday Dearest Sudha  Aunty.