Proud Peacock!

Priya Sakhi

Happy Independence day Dear Friend!

Today I think of the Mahatma who said `I’m a lover of my own liberty, and so I would do nothing to restrict yours."

Today as we celebrate our 68th year of Independence-- have we lived up to the Mahatma's vision of Free India? 

For that matter how much of the vision of all our great leaders, seers, pioneers, scientists, artistes are we fulfilling? 

Is this vision needed? I am free! I am responsible! And that is enough?
The above question is not a rhetoric one.

Now as a dancer what does this  freedom mean? 
I am ever proud to be an Indian and even `prouder' to be an Indian classical dancer.
Hey then you can call me a Proud Peacock-- as I am a dancer, and Indian and hence the peacock? and very proud to be so? Clever aint I?
Priya Sakhi , no, no do not throw that cushion on me-- I promise no mokkai-s.

But am I independent as a dancer? Not really. There is that interdependence on music, musicians, mentors, patrons -- the list is endless.

 Being a dancer (of the travails I need not mention) is getting more difficult! No, this is not `I do not even have one solo' whine, sakhi!

The life of a dancer is unique!
As a profession it is one that is best pursued with a passion. The returns from it is intangible,  inexplicable and hence misunderstood.
A passion that is often not understood as it cannot be structured in a tight corporate  financial module.

Very often I have observed that when a corporate woman travels, she is busy looking at figures, meetings and conferences, it is appreciated.
But many times people look at me strangely when I as a Bharatanataym dancer go for a meeting! You work in an office?, they ask!
No thankfully not!

But do we have a structure? We all work hard, many of us start the day at 6.00, classes, rehearsals, recording sessions, meetings(!!), programmes, research libraries.... 

And then when we get engaged  to be married,  that unspoken fear  follows-- what happens to my dance? can I pursue my passion?!!

But Sakhi as you know, I always thank god for that one statement that my then`prospective partner' and my `now husband' made-- why are you asking me permission to dance when it is a part of your life, even before you met me?'
Sakhi, now friend do not go supporting him....you are on my side remember?
Just kidding!

But having said that, what a struggle it is for most dancers who work as hard as any other from the corporate world!
Is there any policy for the arts that does not involve any confusion?( the present circular from the Ministry of Culture, being a classic example).
There are efforts to clarify, amend rules... but everything is a struggle.

Personal freedom, personal glory, personal opportunities vis-a-vis the fraternity and its concerns at large.
Criticisms, praise, conflicts, understanding, positive, negative.....

But ! when we dance that bubble envelopes us--- it is only music, it is only me , my emotion, then even `I' disappears--- it is Krishna, it is Devaki,  Radha, it is Sita--- Everything else ceases to be! A wonderful ideal state...
I have the freedom, freedom of delving within myself, to be free.
 Sakhi!
I am proud to be a peacock-- an Indian dancer!

Broken thoughts

Priya Sakhi! My friend, Mon Amie....

I have been wanting to do this for a long time. To tell you anything that comes to my mind! Not in a very organised way but just random  thoughts, emotions, in no pattern. Why should there be a pattern, a coherent one? Incoherence is a crime? As in a poetry or piece of modern art with its wonderful splash of colours...

Is not life like that-- myriad of motions, thoughts, of cacophony and of silence, of extremes....
 So Sakhi-- I am going to share whatever comes to my mind-- who else  but you will put up with this?

Priya Sakhi...

It is raining heavily here in Chennai! Respite from the punishing heat that we have bee subjected to by Surya bhagvan.
Rain, the drops that fall, first tentative and then it increases in speed-- ever tried putting tala to rain? There is no pattern but why should there be?

There is Rhythm in everything-- from the heart beat, rhythm in the changing season, rhythm in silence even!

In natya that silence after a `climax' is what adds to a presentation.

Silence conveys a million emotions... Remember this song?

People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb .....
The sound of silence.

Sakhi you might ask me why am I in this mood?

Rain does this to me-- Rain is good but for me it brings me memories-- painful and happy. Of birth and death
Water droplets , when they fall on you, on your eyes, your cheek.... love  them and then the speed and intensity increases.. we take cover. Mazhai-- `Dhikkul yettum sidhari sidhari dheem tharikita, dheem tahrikita, dheem tharikita...'

Very much like life! it starts of being wonderful and then.....
we love the rhythm, the sounds, the beats, the uniform beats, the off-beat ones, the variant one and then  finally enjoy the silence that ensues.

 The unspoken word, the emotion that is there right there controlled but waiting to come out-- that is more interesting! 
  Life starts that way.... with the heart beat inside the womb, struggle starts right from coming out  of the womb-- push push, we come pushing out with a rhythm of breathing... the pace of life slowly increases...crawling, unsteady walking with a tisra nadai?, then a beat is added, then running, running to realise our ambitions, away from that emotion, running a race, then a `rat race'....
 We fall, fall ill-- there is a pause....
we reflect, we ponder, we wonder...
then we pick up our pace again...

Run, Run, Run from first speed to tenth speed! silence? what is that?

Life is like that only Priya Sakhi-- shoo ! Quietly let us face this frenzy life....

Sakhi? Are you listening?